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You are here: Home / Family / Diapers and Duct Tape, a poem

Filed Under: Family

Diapers and Duct Tape, a poem

the_culprit.jpg

They say a man can fix anything with duct tape but it can also be a blessing to a harried mom. See why I highly recommend it.

When my youngest daughter Joely was two and still in diapers, she really enjoyed fingerpainting. Unfortunately, she didn't like using paint or paper for her creations; instead she preferred to make her own fingerpaint—which she stored in her diaper—and painted earth-tone murals on the walls of her room.

This new hobby of hers, being unacceptable to our delicate sensitivities, forced us to devise an effective method with which to squelch this natural creativity of hers.

So what finally worked for us? Duct tape.

Each time we diapered her, we simply secured her diaper with a length of duct tape, making sure to put the end of the tape at the back of her diaper to make it less accessible to her curious hands. This wasn't a foolproof solution, but since the duct tape made it much more difficult for her to remove her diaper during her naptime, it sure cut down on her frequent forays into fingerpainting (how's that for alliteration?).

In memoriam of her attractive artwork, a couple years ago I sat down and composed a fictional poem illustrating some of our experiences. Names in the poem were changed to protect the guilty innocent.

Pablo Fecasso

Last week I nearly lost my mind!

My kids just fought and yelled and whined!

All three thought every toy unshareable;

The noise they made was quite unbearable.

They pulled my hair.

They kicked.

They hit.

My nerves unraveled bit by bit.

But yesterday had gone all right—

(They’d only had eight minor fights.)

It seemed the major storm had passed

That maybe I’d have peace at last.

I longed to have one day of saneness—

A day of calmness.

Noiseless.

Painless.

But I just had to wait and see

What kind of day tomorrow would be.

So on to bed I went to pray

That dawn would bring a better day.

Alas, the morning came at last,

And sadly all my hopes were dashed.

My two-year-old filled up my purse

With chocolate syrup, and then immersed

My cashmere sweater in the sink,

Then colored all the walls hot pink.

And—oh!—what’s more, the little stinker

(Thinking he was such a thinker)

Made a homemade fishing pole,

And used as bait his hamster, Lowell,

Then cast him in the toilet bowl!

Of course while this was going on

I didn’t notice little John

Was decorating Jenny’s face

With butter, jam, and mint toothpaste.

Then Jenny thought that she’d be funny

And filled the VCR with honey.

Then after that she found some shears

And cut her hair from ear to ear.

But that was nothing when I saw

That as a great and last hurrah,

My little two-year-old—my Paul—

Had painted pictures on the wall,

But brush and paint he hadn’t used;

Instead his diaper he’d removed,

And with its contents he’d proceeded

Finger painting…unimpeded.

Check out Shannon's site for more Works for Me Wednesday tips.

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Comments

  1. Melanie says

    April 22, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Your poem is hysterical!!!

    I am SO glad neither of mine tried this form of artistic expression! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Carlie says

    April 22, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    That's a new way to paint – lol! Duct tape is a great idea!

    Come by and check out my blog giveaway!

    Reply
  3. LeeAnn (Frazzmom) says

    April 23, 2008 at 12:35 am

    Oh my- I missed out on this particular artistic expression with my kids as well… Love your solution!

    Reply
  4. Runningamuck says

    April 23, 2008 at 1:14 am

    Joy, you are hilarious!! I love your poem. And your duc tape tip. Having the ends in the back is ingenius!

    …**still laughing as I sign off**…

    Reply
  5. Becky Perry says

    April 23, 2008 at 5:54 am

    Oh Joy, I would laugh but it is still not funny to me – and it has been a good 5 years since my oldest did this! The poem is so stinking funny!

    Reply
  6. The Happy Housewife says

    April 23, 2008 at 7:39 am

    Very funny! We use duct tape to keep the just too small diapers on!

    Reply
  7. Kate (A Simple Walk) says

    April 23, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Joy, that poem is fantastic! I laughed so hard I'm crying. So far two of our four have done this and I really wish I had thought to do that. We're not out of the woods yet with Gracie though, so I'll definitely have to remember this just in case.

    Reply
  8. The (Almost) Amazing Mommarino says

    April 23, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    I have to do the same! I learned the hard way not to use off-brands. She peels it right off!

    Reply
  9. dawn says

    April 24, 2008 at 10:46 am

    I love your poem, and the idea thanks. Remember, you are very very blessed to have your kids!

    Reply
  10. Iranian Ajax says

    April 25, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    I could not stop laughing….

    This was the cutest/funniest/ thing I have ever read.

    Kids are great….adorable.

    God Bless Your Kids….

    Warmest Regards,

    Iranian Ajax

    Reply
  11. asimplesinner says

    April 25, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    That reminds me of a rather horrific story my mother told me about her early days in nursing taking care of patients with dementia… They preferred the same… eh… media

    Reply
  12. jmjorat says

    April 25, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    I have a 1 year old. I should stock up on duct tape now before the price goes up. 🙂

    Reply
  13. amybaker says

    April 25, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    my daughter totally does that! we now have her sleep in her footsie pj's backwards so she cannot get to the zipper, it hasn't failed yet!

    Reply
  14. lanaray says

    April 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    I put my daughters zip-up PJs on backwards…it definately slows her down.

    Lana

    Reply
  15. bryanens says

    April 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    been there!! When my older son was still in diapers, he liked to finger paint too! If we didn't catch him as soon as he had "done the deed", the 3 minute job of changing him changed into a 3 hour job of washing walls, bedding, any clothing he had gotten his "grubby little hands" on…I'm SO happy that his little brother has shown no signs of having the same traits!!

    Reply
  16. Janice says

    May 23, 2010 at 6:15 am

    I thought we were the only ones that experienced this. It has been 28 years, but — ohhh–the memories.

    Reply
  17. Deliese says

    September 24, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Our beautiful 2-year-old is also currently restrained with duct tape. They make it in lovely colors now, so that if part of it shows it looks more decorative. (Perhaps we're not the only ones to be shopping for baby in hardware?) The older kids enjoy taking turns picking out the next color. Thanks for the poem!

    Reply

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