You Don't Have to Guess My Weight

I'm 5 feet 9 and a half inches tall, so I carry my weight pretty well. And I've also never been particularly bothered by people knowing how much I weigh. To me my weight is just a number. And the number isn't as important to me as how I feel in my own skin.

My first struggle with weight didn't happen until college; as a child I was always tall and skinny. This is my senior picture, at age 16 and 135 pounds.

When I went to college at age 17, I still weighed about 135 at the beginning of the fall semester. But by Christmas break I had gained a whopping forty pounds (yikes!), and I was overweight for the first time in my life. Maybe I can blame the weight gain on my competitive nature. After all, I was told that the average student usually gains their "Freshman Fifteen" when they start college. I guess I just wanted to be above average!?

Proof of this weight gain is this picture that was taken less than a year after the one above, during that first Christmas break at college. I was about 175 pounds, and although I didn't really look all that overweight, I believe my grandmother would have said I was on the verge of being called "pleasantly plump."

But thankfully the weight didn't stay on for long. My sophomore year I carried 22 credit hours, I worked 20 hours/week as a dreaded MCI telemarketer, and I was planning my wedding…all at the same time. Can you say stress? Without much effort on my part, I dropped those forty pounds over the course of about 5 months — not a diet plan I would recommend to anyone. When I got married just before my junior year, I still weighed 135. This picture was taken the day before my wedding, at age 19.

Since then, I have gained weight with each of my children, but I usually lost enough afterward to feel pretty comfortable with myself. But then, after I turned 30 a few years ago, I was up to 173 again — and I blame it all on Betty Crocker's chocolate chip muffins! I joined a First Place group, and I lost 23 pounds, getting back down to the weight I was before having my first child — and I felt absolutely wonderful. According to the weight charts, at 150 pounds I was sitting very comfortably in my ideal weight range. Plus my clothes fit and I had tons of energy. I was right where I wanted to be.

And then life happened again. I've been overeating and not getting enough any exercise, and now I'm back to that dreaded 170 mark again. (Did I mention that I'm not paranoid about sharing my weight?) That's obviously not where I want to be…again. I want to lose the weight, not to please anyone else, but only to please myself, to make me healthier, and so that I feel better in my own skin.

I mentioned on my 2009 goals post what my plans are to reach my goal and lose 20 pounds. But I'll list an expanded version of them here.

1. Portion control. For me, this means I'll probably be eating half as much as before. I'll be using a smaller plate at meals and serving myself half of what I'd normally take. My eyes are so often bigger than my stomach, and I find I am often satisfied after eating much less than expected.
2. Eating only when I'm hungry. My downfall is usually impulse eating. If I have a craving for something, I usually go ahead and satisfy it, even if I'm not hungry. I'm going to be (and have been the last few days) exercising a little bit of that self-control that I'm always saying I want my kids to learn. If I have a craving for something when I'm not hungry, I will wait at least a couple minutes before giving in. It's amazing (well, not really) that the craving usually doesn't last very long, and it's quite easy to say "no" to the food after I've waited a couple minutes.
3. Better food choices. I don't like fruit and vegetables all that much. Sure I'll eat them, and I usually enjoy them when I do, but I've never been one to eat veggies except as a side dish at dinner. And fruit? Apples, pineapple, and grapes are about the only kind I really care for. So to make better food choices, I'm going to have to have healthier food on hand, readily available. And then I'm definitely going to have to cut down on my dessert, which is usually a little bowl of semi-sweet chocolate chips. (Yes, that's terrible isn't it — a whole bowl of chocolate chips! Would it sound better if I said it was a very small bowl?) I'm not going to cut out chocolate entirely (I'm not that crazy), but I will need to cut down on the portions and frequency for sure.
4. Food diary. If I know I’ll be writing it down, those ten five freshly-baked, hot-out-of-the-oven, gooey, delectable chocolate chip cookies (or that entire batch of Betty Crocker chocolate chip muffins) will be less likely to make it into my mouth! I won't be counting the calories necessarily, but having a record of my intake will help direct my food choices. I'll be recording my morning weight in my diary as well.
5. Exercise at least 3 times a week, hopefully with the help of a Wii Fit, which we hope to get this weekend as a Christmas gift. I'm also going to be trying to do Amy's "anti-muffin-top" ab exercises 4 times a week.  Exercise is an area in which I always struggle. This is probably going to be my greatest challenge…and the biggest help in meeting my weight loss goal.
6. Drink more water and a lot less milk. I love milk, and up until a few days ago, I had been drinking way to much of it, even though I've been trying to cut down recently. I usually drink milk with every meal…and as a snack in between. I don't even want to think how many extra calories I was taking in every day just with milk alone! I will be trying to drink a lot more water instead, keeping track of it in my food diary.
7. Blog about my progress. I'll hopefully be posting frequent updates of my progress on Five J's, but Kate and I will also be posting weekly on Happy to be at Home.

If weight loss and/or healthier eating is one of your goals for 2009, Kate and I would love to have you join us. Leave a comment on our "2 Moms, 20 Pounds" posts (here or at Happy to be at Home) and let us know about your progress!