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I'm sure I probably fall in the minority on this one, but I don't really like receiving flowers from my husband.
In case you didn't read that correctly, let me repeat myself: I don't really like receiving flowers from my husband.
It's just not my thing.
Don't get me wrong. I love my husband dearly, and I would graciously accept flowers if he were to give them, but I've never been the kind of girl that particularly likes getting flowers.
You see, a bouquet of fresh flowers that is doomed to wilt and die within a few short days does nothing for me. I appreciate the sentiment behind the gift, but the gift itself I don't really care for. Upon receiving a dozen roses from my husband, I wouldn't swoon with sentimentality, or faint from his generous display of affection.
No, after first suppressing any thoughts about how overpriced flowers are, I'd smile, give him a kiss and embrace in thanks, and then put the flowers in a vase and set them on my table where, over the next few days, they'd wilt and silently loose their petals one by one.
If you've ever read Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages, you might understand why flowers don't really do anything for me. Receiving gifts is not my love language—and my husband knows it.
Which is why he doesn't buy me flowers. And for that, I thank him.
So instead of sending flowers as an expression of his love, my husband does the dishes. Cooks meals. Does the laundry. And even scrubs the toilets!
And that makes me weak in the knees. Now he's speaking my language!
But it took us a while to figure that out.
According to Chapman, the five love languages (in other words, the kinds of things that make us feel loved) are:
- Word of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts (This is where the receiving flowers would be!)
- Acts of Service (Ding! Ding! This is mine!)
- Physical Touch (I would venture to say that most men would fall in this category, although I could be wrong. But I doubt it.)
Jeff and I have been married for over 13 years, and we've long since come to a clear understanding about the whole "flowers" thing. He knows I don't expect—or even want—flowers on Mother's Day, Valentines Day, or our anniversay. And we're both completely okay with that.
But if he were to give me chocolate…now, that's another story!
Joy is the wife of 
A very informative post. I would tend to agree with you on the statement that most men probably are in the Physical Touch category. Receiving gifts isn't mine either. I especially don't like receiving gifts when we are short on money. Because then it's spending what money we don't have on something I don't want.
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I love the book the Five Love Languages. It makes things so much easier when you know what love your partner speaks, your children speak and everyone else for that matter.
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Oh, I hear you! I consider my husband to be one lucky man. He doesn't have to shop for gifts or impress me with poetry or take me out on the town. He just has to vacuum the house.
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I hear you! I lean towards acts of service myself; however, a potted (living) plant is okay with me!
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Im a gift giver through and through, (though even one nice plastic flower would do me!). But I hear what you are saying and its really great that your husband knows your love language and tries to do things that are really meaningful to you. This is an excellent post, thanks so much for sharing it with us!
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I do like flowers, but cleaning the toilets wins hands down every time!
Toni~
http://thehappyhousewife.com
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Ditto from Mom. A hug only now and then with the dishes is great also.
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I like plants for my yard, and occasionally when we are having company, my husband will come home with a grocery store bouquet which is cheaper and just as pretty ~ then I can use them on the table.
But, yes, I'm like you…he put all the laundry away last night and I was swooning!
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I like flowers but hate the expense and the fact that they are just going to die. I'd rather he just spend time with me or help out around the house. And I agree on the Love Languages…he is definately a physical touch guy..but he has learned not to buy flowers!
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I like flowers, especially when they're on sale
But I totally know what you mean about the 5 Love Languages. I'm a quality time girl myself.
Thanks for sharing.
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I completely agree. I do like to have flowers, but I'd rather choose them myself. And they are a lot of work, with all the water changing and stem trimming and such. I told him long ago to stop buying me flowers and get me potted plants instead, but I must have been talking to a wall.
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I am a words of affirmation person. I do love to get flowers though. Ones with roots on them. LOL I am a gardener and our tradition is that I get a rosebush, a tree or some perennial plant for Mother's Day. I look forward to the plant that I get. Then, as I walk around my gardens, I have a history of Mother's Days to enjoy.
Great post!
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Absolutely agree, Joy!
I also prefer Acts of Service. For Mother's Day, we have an annual tradition of vacuuming and detailing cleaning the inside and outside of the family vehicle that I drive daily! I just never seems to get done during other times of the year.
Plus BUYING flowers goes against our Dave Ramsey budget plan, and your Debt Snowball!! It's a REAL GIFT for men to be on the same page with their wife and is the beginning of Financial Peace.
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Right there with you, Joy! He can keep the bouquet of flowers, but he could weed the garden outside!
We went through a marriage class a few years ago that's basis sounds rather like the Love Language book you mentioned. It really helped us understand what made the other swoon.
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I am a gifts person but I acts of service is high on my list. I guess you could say the 2 almost tie for me. And I certainly enjoy flowers but encourage other gifts. I'm the type who wouldn't mind getting a new kitchen appliance as a gift! (I know, I'm weird!)
My husband is still learning that I like practical things as gifts (though I certainly appreciate impractical things….like chocolate..or candles, etc)…to me, replacing the broken food processor would be a wonderful gift because it would save me so much time!
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